Strictly Come Dancing Quotes, Quizzes, Reviews and News

Ten Great Dance Tips for Left-Footed Loafers

2010-04-19T21:52:00.000+01:00

Are you the type of person who thinks that that really annoying aphorism (the one you only ever see embroidered on a chintzy cushion in someone else’s bathroom next to the really oppressive air freshener) “Dance like no one’s watching” … is actually the wrong way round?

What is the point of dancing while no one is watching? Dancing, unlike robbing banks, making sausages or picking your nose, was never intended to be carried out unobserved.

Think about it. If, for some reason, when you do dance unseen your customarily clumsy and choreographically-challenged carcasse is captivated by the combined cha-cha-chi of Fred, Gene, Ginger, Cyd, Patrick and Michael, then who are you dancing for?

Surely we should all dance like everyone is watching. Well, everyone except me, because I dance like Fred (Flintstone), Gene (Hunt), Ginger (McCain), Sid (Owen), Patrick (Moore) and Michael (Fish).

Having ranted about that piece of useless dancing advice, I should make amends and offer some better terps tips. Here are ten of my favourite pieces of dance advice.

1. “Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.”
Dave Barry

Correct me if I am wrong, but Mr. Barry - the great American humorist - has hardly taken his own advice. I cannot remember him volunteering to appear on Dancing With The Stars. Maybe with good reason; as funny guys have a very bad track record on DWTS. Just ask so-called class clowns Jeffrey Ross, Penn Jillette, Ashley Hamilton and Kenny Mayne - they were all first round evictees. There must be an anti-dance gene that attaches itself to the comic gene?

2. “Dancing on the edge is the only place to be.”
Trisha Brown

Don’t tell the cast of Center Stage.

3. “Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.”
Confucius

Nope, not got a clue on this one. Although Confucius also said, “A man who can't dance is self-conscious and lacks inner strength.” Confucius sounds as though he was the Bruce Forsyth of Ancient China - a witty and well-rehearsed ad lib for every dance occasion, none of which make any sense.

4. During training with Kate Garraway - “Get sexy, give it some chocolate!”
Anton Du Beke on Strictly Come Dancing (2007)

Despite Anton’s sweet-toothed stimulation Kate’s dances were as narcoleptic as hot chocolate laced with Passiflora … especially her Waltzzzzzzzz.

5. “Flow into your dancing, circulate the steps into your body, as you would run your fingers through the hair of the one you love.”
Nelly Mazloum

Okay, how is that going to inspire my dance partner … when I am bald? And it’s not even good advice for Ginger Rogers as Fred Astaire wore a toupee in most of their dances.

6. “Never trust a spiritual leader who cannot dance.”
Mr. Miyagi [Pat Morita] in The Next Karate Kid (1994)

Which begs the question, ‘Does the Dalai Lambada or does he do the Buddha Churner?’

7. “Dance with a girl three times, and if you like the light of her eye and the tone of voice with which she, breathless, answers your little questions about affairs masculine and feminine, - then take the leap in the dark.”
Anthony Trollope, Orley Farm (1862)

If Trollope had also checked his dance partner’s teeth I’d have sworn he was looking over a plough horse rather than a prospective wife.

8. “Never drum on a white lady’s boobies at a big redneck dance.”
Capt. James West [Will Smith] in Wild Wild West (1999)

Not even Eddie Murphy dared try this in 48 Hours … and certainly do not try this in Louisiana even if your name is Ringo Starr and you can dance like Blaze Starr.

9. “Next time you’re mad, try dancing out your anger.”
Sweetpea Tyler

I’ll mention this to the Incredible Hulk next time he can’t find his tap shoes.

10. “Don’t dance on a volcano.”
French Proverb

Obviously doesn’t apply to extinct volcanoes. However, if you are forced to dance on an active volcano, insist on doing so to the strains of ‘50 Ways to Leave your Lava!’

COLIN M JARMAN

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2010-04-19T21:51:00.001+01:00

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Strictly Quote Dancing Quiz #1

2010-04-13T09:04:00.001+01:00

STRICTLY QUOTE DANCING

Quiz #1

Work out the missing word(s) that complete the following quotes about Strictly Come Dancing.

1. "SCD - a late-night 70's show burdened with a prime-time slot ... the TV equivalent of a geography teacher ???? at the school disco."

Ally Ross in The Sun (2004)

A. Dad Dancing B. Hand-Jiving C. Pogoing

2. On the secret to a great dance partnership - "Lots and lots of ????. And Tic-Tacs on call at all times."

Brian Fortuna in The Mirror (2009)

A. Chemistry B. Body Contact C. Deodorant

3. On Peter Schmeichel's Paso Doble - "Paso Doble? You couldn't pass a ????."

Len Goodman on Strictly Come Dancing (2006)

A. Football B. Tortoise C. Gallstone

4. On Jodie Kidd's Samba - "She had all the grace of a ???? hen party."

Scott Matthewman in The Stage (2008)

A. Line Dancing B. Pole Dancing C. Slam Dancing

5. On Kate Garraway's Paso Doble - "???? in a frock would have done a better Paso."

Bruno Tonioli on Strictly Come Dancing (2007)

A. Frankenstein B. Tutankhamen C. John Prescott

ANSWERS

Quiz #1

1. B. Hand-Jiving
2. C. Deodorant
3. B. Tortoise
4. A. Line Dancing
5. B. Tutankhamen

STRICTLY QUOTE DANCING - THE BOOK

2010-04-09T14:32:00.006+01:00

STRICTLY "QUOTE" DANCING

A COMICAL COLLECTION OF
1500 TONGUE-IN-CHEEK-TO-CHEEK
DANCE QUOTATIONS

from Strictly Come Dancing to Footloose

from Daddy Cool to Hot Gossip

from the Moulin Rouge to The Red Shoes

from Arlene Phillips to Fiona Phillips

from Stomp The Yard to the Soft-Shoe Shuffle

from Nijinsky to They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

This volume of 1500 quotations is a light-hearted and light-footed tongue-in-cheek tribute to the great names in dance: Dancers, Choreographers, Films, Stage Shows, TV Programmes … even fictional dancers, dancing animals and other lifeforms.

BOOK DETAILS
Pages: 212
Cover: Paperback
ISBN: 978-1-907338-02-1
Price: £8.99 (exc p&p)

Click here to buy

As its title suggests, this book pays homage to the 21st century phenomenon known as Strictly Come Dancing. As well as including many names from these global TV shows, Strictly “Quote” Dancing expands the Ballroom dance world to allow Strictly… fans the chance to explore the social and celebrity dance scene outside of their TV.

"Strictly... is a proper, serious, intelligent sport. Unlike football, which is just some petty form of light entertainment."
Viv Groskop in The Mail on Sunday (2009)

"That's pro-celebrity Ballroom for you. It damn near strips a man naked, bar the sequins."
Giles Smith in The Times (2006)

Just as the Strictly… mantle has covered the globe like a Paso Doble cape, this book matches the international reach of social dance with a particular focus on the U.K. and U.S.A. Strictly “Quote” Dancing celebrates in comic fashion the whole glitterball of glamour, glitz and gaucheness that has always pervaded the social dance world.

"Strictly Come Dancing is the show that has it all: tears, adultery, screaming, serious injury ... No wonder so many EastEnders actors feel so at home there."
Katy Guest in The Independent on Sunday (2007)

Inspired by the BBC TV show Strictly Come Dancing, this book delivers enough comical content to fill the most discerning judge's dance card.

"People love to follow celebrities and watch them being humiliated. In the past we had the stocks; now we have Strictly..."
Craig Revel Horwood in The Daily Mail (2008)

This light-footed volume of 1500 light-hearted quotes covers every angle of the dance world from the Len GOODman, the LamBADa and the JitterbUGLY.

As the title suggests - this fun-packed book focuses on the first 7 seasons of Strictly Come Dancing ...

It reveals an amusing aspect of the show through the words of celebrity and professional dancers, judges, hosts, fans and the media.

On why he agreed to take part in Strictly... - "It was the prospect of dancing with a woman for a change."
Julian Clary (2004)

"When Strictly... first quick-stepped onto our screens, it was as fresh and innocent as a newly-sewn sequin on a novice's ballgown."
Amanda Platell in The Daily Mail (2009)

"When it comes to the Strictly... debate, I'm on John Sergeant's side. We who Salsa like reversing dump-trucks have to stick together."
Rowan Pelling in The Daily Telegraph (2008)

As well S.C.D. other TV dance shows (from Come Dancing to So You Think You Can Dance) are also covered...

"These days you can't swing a sequined dress without hitting a dance reality TV show."
Emily Macel in Dance magazine (2008)

"It goes without saying S.Y.T.Y.C.D. should have been called So You Think You Can Be Any More Like X Factor And Britain's Got Talent If You Try?"
Ian Hyland in The News of the World (2010)

This book includes comical content about famous dancers ...

"Patrick Swayze is a watchable bundle of tempting testosterone."
Katharine Dieckmann in The Village Voice (1987)

"In Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta jay-walked across the disco floor with the hormonal dazzle of a porno polyester peacock."
Owen Gleiberman in Entertainment Weekly (2000)

As such, Strictly 'Quote' Dancing celebrates in frivolous fashion the gaudy global glitterball of glamour, glitz and garish gaucheness that has always pervaded the dance world.

As a taster of what the book holds in store, here is a further sample of quotations ...

"Dancing is beautiful and sexy, unless it's at an open-bar wedding reception."
Ross Werland

"Stifling an urge to dance is bad for your health - it rusts your spirit and your hips."
Adabella Radici

"If ballroom dancing is the new sex, then Anton Du Beke is its Dr. Alex Comfort. He pulls on the waistband of his trousers and wiggles it around. His sorrowful eyes are as big and glistening as Medjool dates ... he is a cross between a camp Svengali and a merciless chiropractor."
Elizabeth Grice in The Daily Telegraph (2004)

"You know what they say about revenge: Best taken in a frilly frock."
Anton Du Beke

"Theoretically, I am ready to go to anything - once. If it moves, I'm interested; if it moves to music, I'm in love."
Arlene Croce in The New Yorker (2000)

"Mixing Ballet and Breakdance is like mixing apples and space-ships."
Touré in USA Today (2001)

"Tap dance has that contradictory posture: Buster Keaton from the waist up, Jim Carrey from the waist down."
Richard Corliss in Time magazine (2002)

"There will be a rain dance Friday night ... weather permitting."
George Carlin

DANCING WITH THE STARS USA - "George Hamilton is 66. It doesn't matter. He's in his element, shimmying across the floor with the grace of a man half his age hoping against hope that the knee cartilage holds out."
Duncan Kennedy on BBC.co.uk (2006)

Dance movies ...

PULP FICTION
"Travolta in a Twist contest with Uma Thurman during the legendary scene at Jack Rabbit Slims; so cool, they reach all the way round the thermometer and wind up at 'hot' again."
Richard Ouzounian in The Toronto Star (2007)

BILLY ELLIOT
"When Billy asks his mate, 'Who do you think is better, Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers?' you know you're in for a sticky-sweet ride aboard the treacle train."
Mark Savlov in The Austin Chronicle (2000)

COYOTE UGLY
"The movie's 'Odessa Steps' is a stompin', Charlie Daniels'-scored Riverdance that could drive a dog to suicide."
Michael Atkinson in The Village Voice (2000)

DANCE FLICK
"Back in the day, they probably would have called it You Got To Step Up 2 Be Served Hairspray And Stomp The Yard To Save The Last High School Musical."
Michael Rechtshaffen in Film Journal International (2009)

FLASHDANCE
"A seemingly impossible combination of a feminist Rocky, a bar girl Fame and Jane Fonda's Workout ... the plotting in Flashdance was as loose as the dancing."
Jay Cocks in Time magazine (1983)

Stage musicals ...

DADDY COOL
"Song-and-dance numbers in which the girls splay, split and kick their legs like Swiss Army knives with all the blades going at once and the men clutch their privates."
Rhoda Koenig in The Independent (2006)

DIRTY DANCING
"Dance is sex here; it makes losing your virginity as easy as doing the Cha-Cha-Cha."
Lyn Gardner in The Guardian (2006)

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
"This is an ensemble piece which is at times so cleverly and frenetically choreographed that it resembles a human Red Arrows display."
Dawn Collinson in The Liverpool Echo (2006)

LORD OF THE DANCE
"This extravaganza of Vegas Celticism has been playing to houses as packed as Michael Flatley's dancing trousers."
Matthew Sweet in The Independent (1996)

Please note: STRICTLY 'QUOTE' DANCING focuses on the UK TV show as well as dancing in general.
A dedicated North American version - DANCING WITH THE QUOTES is available for fans of the US dance show.
Further details at ... DWTQ Book or Amazon

BOOK DETAILS
Pages: 212
Cover: Paperback
ISBN: 1907338021
Price: £8.99 (exc p&p)

Click here to buy